Experience vs. Joy
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I think I mentioned a few posts back that depression is one of my challenges. It's challenging me today. It's one of those days where everything is overwhelming, nothing seems possible and I feel like a fool for even trying. In my mind (today) there will never be enough money to pay the bills AND raise the kids, the house will never look good, the blackberries will take over the entire yard and I can't do anything about it, I have no friends and I'll never be able to make extra money, no matter how hard I try or how many books I read. I try to cast my burdens on the Lord, but He helps those who help themselves, and I can't seem to help myself. By the way, which is it? Are we supposed to give all our problems to the Lord and let Him sort them out, or are we supposed to try to fix it ourselves and He'll help us out eventually?
I'd also like for someone to explain this dichotomy to me: 'Adam fell that men might be; men are that they might have JOY.' But then in the Doctrine and Covenants Joseph Smith is suffering terribly in jail and he gets this: 'And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.' Where's the joy? How could anyone, even a prophet of God, be joyful in that situation? It seems to me that Experience and Joy are mutually exclusive, so how can we have both? Anyone? Beuller?
I'm not saying it isn't possible, I just want to know HOW? Is it that 'men are that they might have joy'...eventually? In the afterlife if we live through the experience? I consider myself a semi-intelligent person and I can't make sense of this. But I want to. I really do.
I'd also like for someone to explain this dichotomy to me: 'Adam fell that men might be; men are that they might have JOY.' But then in the Doctrine and Covenants Joseph Smith is suffering terribly in jail and he gets this: 'And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.' Where's the joy? How could anyone, even a prophet of God, be joyful in that situation? It seems to me that Experience and Joy are mutually exclusive, so how can we have both? Anyone? Beuller?
I'm not saying it isn't possible, I just want to know HOW? Is it that 'men are that they might have joy'...eventually? In the afterlife if we live through the experience? I consider myself a semi-intelligent person and I can't make sense of this. But I want to. I really do.
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